SELFLESSNESS,HUMILITY AND NOBILITY
marks of an honorable person
There is a Chinese saying“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime help others"!
This morning a friend told me a very tragic but a moving true story which made me realize that there are still so many noble people in Pakistan who know very well how to take care of each other.
It's the story of a old retired college professor who worked hard all his life, raised 5 children, one son and four daughters. His daughters are all settled in Karachi but he sent his son to United States to study medicine, his son did his residency and decided to settle in USA. The parents never complained, life moved on they received few hundred dollars every month from the son and few visits from him from time to time. The mother passed away three years back and after her death the father was diagnosed with renal failure, he needed dialysis. His older daughter whom he stayed with called her brother " Abu needs medical care, why don't you call him to US and get his dialysis over there, he will be happy to spend some time with your children".
" Treatment will be very expensive I can't afford it, I will send some money, you guys take him to a doctor there", the son replied.
Soon the daughters took their father to SIUT ( Sindh institute of urology), they met with Dr Adeeb Rizvi the head of the institute who guided them about the treatment plan. Soon his treatment started, Dr Rizvi greeted him every time he arrived for dialysis sat with him for some time, talked about his college, politics and cricket. Soon the doctor and the patient became good friends.
The father died after a year, when his son came for the funeral, the daughter handed him an envelope with $15,000 which he had sent for his fathers treatment and a letter.
" My dear Beta, I tried my best to teach my son the importance of good education, hard work, your mother and I worked very hard to make you an honest and trustworthy human being but we failed in teaching you "nobility", nobility in your deeds and selflessness.We failed to teach you to help others. I salute Dr Rizvi"s parents who taught their son nobility, who left a prosperous career in UK to come back to Pakistan to help the sick and the poor families of this country. Please Beta try to teach nobility to your children otherwise you will miss your well educated physician son everyday in the final months of your life, I was lucky enough to find another son in Dr Adeeb Rizvi but maybe you will not...", wrote the father in his letter.
The public healthcare system in Pakistan, as in many developing countries, struggles with extreme shortage of resources. Sindh Institute of Urology and Transplantation (SIUT) is one man’s passion to provide top-class medical treatment, at no cost to the poor and sick people of his country.
In 1972, Dr Rizvi set up a small urology unit in Karachi in Civil Hospital Karachi.
SIUT has grown from just eight beds to over 650 beds at nine separate centres across Pakistan and today is the largest health organisation in the country.
I have met Dr Rizvi just once very briefly but have heard many stories about his dedication to his work. He is the first one to arrive at SIUT in the morning and the last one to leave.He is a friend to all his patients and his employees. Everyone( patients from any background)is treated equally in SIUT.
I am thankful to God for everything He has given me, for all His blessings. I also wish and pray for nobility in my deeds...
Monday, April 25, 2016
Postpartum Depression; a disease which needs to be addressed
Postpartum Depression; a disease which needs to be treated
I was very happy that finally after so many years,I will have a baby, my own baby! I bought so many clothes and toys.
My son was born the day after my 29th birthday, I quit my job at the bank to stay with my son. I was the happiest person in the world.
Suddenly after few days of his birth things changed, I don't know how, I don't know why but I was angry all the time. I started throwing temper tantrums, me and my husband started fighting every day.
I started suffering from depression and severe anxiety. I was experiencing moments of rage. I couldn't understand what was happening to me and also was unable to explain to others what I felt like. I was stuck in the deepest well of sadness every few days. I was cranky, sleep deprived felt tired most of the time.
I used to sit in a corner and cry for no reason, I thought I am a bad mom...
When ever I looked at my baby I felt very happy but after few minutes the smile faded from my face and I was back to my usual depressed self.
There was no one who understood me, my husband said " you had a normal delivery, baby is fine then why are you acting weird? You are not the first mother who has a newborn baby to care for"
Even my own family and friends expected me to act "perfectly". They wanted to talk, drop by and were asking for baby pictures all the time.
I was suffering from "postpartum depression" and the people of the world thought I am "just making a big deal".
I did not who to talk to? What to do?
I was confused, angry and frustrated at the same time!
PPD can strike without warning, 20% of postpartum moms suffer from it. It can happen to anyone; women with no history of depression or women who have had it before. It can happen to women who are highly successful in their careers or women who stay home with their children. It can occur after the first baby, or after the fourth.
It can happen to any woman...
It is a disease which needs to be treated.
That was the 70s, time has changed...
Women do talk about this issue, even high profile Hollywood stars create awareness about this issue!
My name is Raisa I am a mother of 4 and a grandmother now, I work as a councilor with a psychiatrist trying to help young women.
I was very happy that finally after so many years,I will have a baby, my own baby! I bought so many clothes and toys.
My son was born the day after my 29th birthday, I quit my job at the bank to stay with my son. I was the happiest person in the world.
Suddenly after few days of his birth things changed, I don't know how, I don't know why but I was angry all the time. I started throwing temper tantrums, me and my husband started fighting every day.
I started suffering from depression and severe anxiety. I was experiencing moments of rage. I couldn't understand what was happening to me and also was unable to explain to others what I felt like. I was stuck in the deepest well of sadness every few days. I was cranky, sleep deprived felt tired most of the time.
I used to sit in a corner and cry for no reason, I thought I am a bad mom...
When ever I looked at my baby I felt very happy but after few minutes the smile faded from my face and I was back to my usual depressed self.
There was no one who understood me, my husband said " you had a normal delivery, baby is fine then why are you acting weird? You are not the first mother who has a newborn baby to care for"
Even my own family and friends expected me to act "perfectly". They wanted to talk, drop by and were asking for baby pictures all the time.
I was suffering from "postpartum depression" and the people of the world thought I am "just making a big deal".
I did not who to talk to? What to do?
I was confused, angry and frustrated at the same time!
PPD can strike without warning, 20% of postpartum moms suffer from it. It can happen to anyone; women with no history of depression or women who have had it before. It can happen to women who are highly successful in their careers or women who stay home with their children. It can occur after the first baby, or after the fourth.
It can happen to any woman...
It is a disease which needs to be treated.
That was the 70s, time has changed...
Women do talk about this issue, even high profile Hollywood stars create awareness about this issue!
My name is Raisa I am a mother of 4 and a grandmother now, I work as a councilor with a psychiatrist trying to help young women.
Monday, March 28, 2016
My special family
MY SPECIAL FAMILY
It was last week when I spotted something unusual in the toy aisle of my local departmental store . Lego's newest figure: A hip-looking stay-at-home dad dressed in a bright red shirt and denim jeans. He was a cute looking dad holding his child in stroller with a working mom standing next to him.
"How sweet, how appreciative, finally", I thought.
With a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face, I bought that Lego set for my daughter.
I am a proud son of two loving individuals whose love story is very unusual yet so beautiful...
My parents met at engineering school in India. They got married in the early 1980s and moved to Canada. Me and my twin brother Sam were born in 1984. Sam was a bright kid but he had problem keeping focus, had difficulty keeping track of time. He was very caring but he had a complicated personality. At the age of 6 he was diagnosed with ADD. Both my parents worked so our grandmother and nanny took care of us in the afternoon till our parents got back from work but as time passed Sam started having more problems in school. Baba and Mama used to spend hours helping him complete his homework. Kids at school started to tease him. We were in 3rd grade when our grandmother passed away. Soon afterwards our nanny also left us. My brother got very sick all of a sudden. Children with ADD generally have deficits in the ability to think and to organize. He needed a lot of attention. Baba and Mama were very worried for him.
Next thing I remember was that my Baba quit his job to take care of Sam and me. He told my mother to continue her work while he will look after the house and the kids. He started taking Sam to the library more often. He taught me to ride the bike, picked us at the bus stop everyday. Cooked for us, took us to the grocery store and to bookshops. All of a sudden Sam started to get better. He was more relaxed and happy. Mama on the other hand tried to help Baba as much she could on the weekends. We all were so happy but then suddenly kids in school and people in the neighborhood started making fun of my Baba.
" Your dad does not has a job, all he does is make sandwiches for you and play in the backyard with you, my dad said that I should better not turn out like him"
" Hey, you're dad is just Mr. Mom"
"Daddy baby sitter"
All these comments and that weird look in people"s eyes made me sad, made me angry...
Yes my family was a bit unusual among all the other Desi Families in our community.
Then one day Mama took me to the ice cream shop and said "let people say what they are saying but you and Sam and I know that Baba is doing such a great job by taking care of you guys, our family is very different and very unique from all other families, we are the best"
Yeah my family was so unique, so special we had a loving father who take care of us and the house, we had our mother who worked 9-5 every day for us. Both our parents respected each other, Mama never looked down at Baba and he never seemed angry or ashamed at being home all day doing the housework.
My brother Sam has gotten so much better now he works at a local departmental store. I am a successful lawyer, happily married and father of a little girl. My parents have started a small online business. Baba still takes care of all the chores around the house and Mama respects him and loves him, maybe more than any other Desi wife I know...
I am a proud son of a Stay-at-home dad and a professional mother...
It was last week when I spotted something unusual in the toy aisle of my local departmental store . Lego's newest figure: A hip-looking stay-at-home dad dressed in a bright red shirt and denim jeans. He was a cute looking dad holding his child in stroller with a working mom standing next to him.
"How sweet, how appreciative, finally", I thought.
With a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face, I bought that Lego set for my daughter.
I am a proud son of two loving individuals whose love story is very unusual yet so beautiful...
My parents met at engineering school in India. They got married in the early 1980s and moved to Canada. Me and my twin brother Sam were born in 1984. Sam was a bright kid but he had problem keeping focus, had difficulty keeping track of time. He was very caring but he had a complicated personality. At the age of 6 he was diagnosed with ADD. Both my parents worked so our grandmother and nanny took care of us in the afternoon till our parents got back from work but as time passed Sam started having more problems in school. Baba and Mama used to spend hours helping him complete his homework. Kids at school started to tease him. We were in 3rd grade when our grandmother passed away. Soon afterwards our nanny also left us. My brother got very sick all of a sudden. Children with ADD generally have deficits in the ability to think and to organize. He needed a lot of attention. Baba and Mama were very worried for him.
Next thing I remember was that my Baba quit his job to take care of Sam and me. He told my mother to continue her work while he will look after the house and the kids. He started taking Sam to the library more often. He taught me to ride the bike, picked us at the bus stop everyday. Cooked for us, took us to the grocery store and to bookshops. All of a sudden Sam started to get better. He was more relaxed and happy. Mama on the other hand tried to help Baba as much she could on the weekends. We all were so happy but then suddenly kids in school and people in the neighborhood started making fun of my Baba.
" Your dad does not has a job, all he does is make sandwiches for you and play in the backyard with you, my dad said that I should better not turn out like him"
" Hey, you're dad is just Mr. Mom"
"Daddy baby sitter"
All these comments and that weird look in people"s eyes made me sad, made me angry...
Yes my family was a bit unusual among all the other Desi Families in our community.
Then one day Mama took me to the ice cream shop and said "let people say what they are saying but you and Sam and I know that Baba is doing such a great job by taking care of you guys, our family is very different and very unique from all other families, we are the best"
Yeah my family was so unique, so special we had a loving father who take care of us and the house, we had our mother who worked 9-5 every day for us. Both our parents respected each other, Mama never looked down at Baba and he never seemed angry or ashamed at being home all day doing the housework.
My brother Sam has gotten so much better now he works at a local departmental store. I am a successful lawyer, happily married and father of a little girl. My parents have started a small online business. Baba still takes care of all the chores around the house and Mama respects him and loves him, maybe more than any other Desi wife I know...
I am a proud son of a Stay-at-home dad and a professional mother...
Republican Primary getting raunchier every day
REPUBLICAN PRIMARY
getting raunchier everyday
From the time when the world discovered how ugly looking Carly Fiorina is to Big Donald eating Little Marco, Republican presidential primary is the best reality show around these days. It has something new and entertaining to offer every week.
The candidates have not only taken jabs at each other but also have discussed all important issues relating to the 2016 elections including sharing private information about their "private parts". Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are recently engaged in a full time Twitter war trading barbs over their wives.
After an anti-Trump group ran Facebook ads in Utah ahead of Tuesday’s primary that featured a nearly-nude shot of Melania Trump, Mr Trump roared"I will spill the beans on your wife!” Cruz tweeted "if you try to attack Heidi, you’re more of a coward than I thought!"
This country has bigger problems than which presidential candidate has a "notable wife", republican presidential primary 2016 is far better than any reality tv show which gets raunchier every week!
#cruzvstrump
getting raunchier everyday
From the time when the world discovered how ugly looking Carly Fiorina is to Big Donald eating Little Marco, Republican presidential primary is the best reality show around these days. It has something new and entertaining to offer every week.
The candidates have not only taken jabs at each other but also have discussed all important issues relating to the 2016 elections including sharing private information about their "private parts". Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are recently engaged in a full time Twitter war trading barbs over their wives.
After an anti-Trump group ran Facebook ads in Utah ahead of Tuesday’s primary that featured a nearly-nude shot of Melania Trump, Mr Trump roared"I will spill the beans on your wife!” Cruz tweeted "if you try to attack Heidi, you’re more of a coward than I thought!"
This country has bigger problems than which presidential candidate has a "notable wife", republican presidential primary 2016 is far better than any reality tv show which gets raunchier every week!
#cruzvstrump
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Criticism getting Attention; Addressing the critics of Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy
Just because "Criticism calls for Attention"
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
~Winston Churchill
Last night was a triumphant night for Pakistan when filmmaker Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy won second Academy Award for her country. Not only did she win for her short feature documentary "A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness", about honor killings Chinoy also delivered a strong acceptance speech about the power and strength of women and that it is the power of films and in particular this one which was able to make a change in her home country.
Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif screened the film at his residence in Islamabad few days before the Academy Awards Ceremony and reiterated his commitmentto ending the practice of "honor" killings in Pakistan.
However it is so ironic that everyone was not happy with her win. Shortly after her speech in Beverly Hills criticism of Obaid-Chinoy began circulating on social media under the hashtag #WeDisownSharmeen, the major criticisms being that her documentaries that, only show the negative side of Pakistan. There are many good and praise-worthy aspects of Pakistan which are not being filmed by her. Another accusation that she does this to seek attention from western media who generally sympathize with the "bechari female victims" of a third world Islamic Country.
Well I just don't agree with such remarks. A filmmaker speaking about potentially life-threatening concepts of ‘respect’ or "honor" of a family is not only helping the victim but is also creating awareness that this concept is morally and religiously wrong.
Obaid-Chinoy is not defaming’ and ‘disgracing’ Pakistan in my opinion she is helping those sufferers who are being ditched by their own family members in the name of "honor".
"Yes she will definitely win Oscar as she has worked this time harder to defame & disgrace Pakistan in front of west,” tweeted one critic.
In my humble opinion Sharmeen is not defaming Pakistan. She has addressed a problem which has not been tackled in the 68 years. Honor killings have been going on for many years in Pakistan, many people did not know about it. Maybe because no one ever had the guts to discuss it!
To all the critics of Miss Chinoy I would like to say do you know who introduced Lady Gaga on the Oscar stage when she sang her Oscar nominated song about rape ? the Vice President of United States, Joe Biden!
Gaga gave an emotional performance of her Oscar-nominated song “Til It Happens to You” from “The Hunting Ground,” a documentary film about sexual assault on college campuses. Gaga appeared on the stage flanked by survivors of sexual assaults.
The best picture winner at the 2016 Oscars was the film "Spotlight", it is the chilling Pulitzer Prize winning story of sexual abuse chronicled by the Boston Globe. The producers of the film thanked the writers for bringing this painful subject in the media.
Spotlight did well in bringing a horrible story to the limelight from under covers. Scandals and problems even the magnitude of child sexual abuse in the Catholic Church have now become familiar.
So do Americans think that the crew and cast of Spotlight are defaming the image of their religious institutions and their country?
Grammy Award winning singer and a sexual abuse victim herself, Lady Gaga brought the Academy Awards audience to its feet with a flawless rendition of "Til It Happens to You" from the documentary 'The Hunting Ground', was she criticized by her countrymen?
No not all, social and print media is full of praises for both the film and the song!
Then why Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy and why the people of her native country are criticizing her?
Why?
Maybe because they just don't want to accept their flaws or maybe they just want to hide the problems rather than struggle to solve them!
Please people, for a change accept your mistakes, your short comings it will help you conquer them. What do you think by hiding the issues, they will go away?
Bringing taboo subjects to an international stage can be perceived by few as an embarrassment for the country. Maybe so, but it looks like a motivation for bringing change for Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy and many other emerging Pakistani film makers who are making films about the subjects of child-marriages, feudalism and abuse.
Maybe it's the beginning of something big something great... a change in the status quo.
Where ever there is life,there is hope!
The Revolution introduced me to art, and in turn, art introduced me to the Revolution!
Monday, February 22, 2016
Yes! Quetta Gladiators can win
PAKISTAN SUPER LEAGUE
yes the Gladiators can win this one!
It's the eve of PSL Cricket Final, the entire city of Quetta will come to a standstill tomorrow as more than a 1,000 kilometres away in the desert of Dubai the Gladiators... yeah! their very own Quetta Gladiators fight it out for the PSL trophy.
Quetta Gladiators is the team of underdogs, group of few hardworking youngsters who represent a city which rarely gets it fair share of attention on the national stage.Whatever the outcome tomorrow the men in purple under the brilliant mentorship of Sir Vivian Richards who is being termed as Sardar Viv have already won the hearts of the people whose city’s name they wear so proudly across their chest.
Quetta has been put on the world map, it has emerged as a team which plays as a unified group, who are not scared,who always rise again like true Gladiators!
yes the Gladiators can win this one!
It's the eve of PSL Cricket Final, the entire city of Quetta will come to a standstill tomorrow as more than a 1,000 kilometres away in the desert of Dubai the Gladiators... yeah! their very own Quetta Gladiators fight it out for the PSL trophy.
Quetta Gladiators is the team of underdogs, group of few hardworking youngsters who represent a city which rarely gets it fair share of attention on the national stage.Whatever the outcome tomorrow the men in purple under the brilliant mentorship of Sir Vivian Richards who is being termed as Sardar Viv have already won the hearts of the people whose city’s name they wear so proudly across their chest.
Quetta has been put on the world map, it has emerged as a team which plays as a unified group, who are not scared,who always rise again like true Gladiators!
Thursday, February 11, 2016
A larger than life Personality Fatima Suriya Bajia
A LARGER THAN LIFE PERSONALITY
An old lady with white hair, who wore beautiful sarees, who gave warm hugs and who could speak the most perfect Urdu... was Fatima Surraya Bajia.
When ever I saw her picture on the news media she reminded me of my maternal grandmother. I have the privilege of meeting her. She knew the art of making everyone comfortable around her.She was distantly related to my grandparents who migrated from a small town in UP India named Badayun. Bajia"s family moved to Hyderabad Deccan from Badayun and settled there. In 1948 after riots started in Hyderabad the family moved to Karachi.
She was a gifted writer but few people know that she never attended a school or college. She was home schooled by the elders in her family. After migrating to Pakistan her father and grandfather died within few years. The responsibility of raising 10 children came on the shoulders of her mother and Bajia being the eldest helped her what ever she could. They sew dolls in traditional dresses which were sold in the Gul-e-Rana Centre started by Begum Rana Liaquat Ali Khan. Later on the Bajia and her younger sister Sughra who were experts at stitching "ghararas" started perhaps the first bridal boutique in the city of Karachi.The two sisters along with their mother stitched ghararas for clients.
Mrs Sughra Kazmi and her daughter in law Bunto Kazmi( who was another sister Sarah Naqvi"s daughter) are still to this day are regarded as the most esteemed bridal designers in Pakistan.
Bajia started writing TV dramas for Pakistan television in the 60s. Her dramas focused on the Muslim culture and heritage of the sub-continent. Shama,Afshan,Ana,Aroosa are few of her popular dramas. She was also on the advisory board of PECHS College Karachi and Karachi Arts Council. Many of her dramas were translated in Japanese and she was also awarded the highest civil award of Japan.
She never had any children of her own and considered her younger siblings as her children. Her brother Anwer Maqsood is a popular tv personality and artist. Another brother Ahmed Maqsood was a famous Bureaucrat. Sughra Kazmi is a designer, Zehra Nighah is a famous poet who also worked in BBC. The youngest sister Zubaida Tariq is regarded as the Culinary Queen of Pakistan who teaches cooking on various networks.
Fatima Suraya Bajia was more than a motherly figure for the citizens of Pakistan. She was an institution, a human rights activist who tried to help everyone around her. Fatima Surayya Bajia’s timeless work and contribution for urdu literature and for Pakistan television will remind us how a tiny frail lady without any formal degree was able to teach us so much...
An old lady with white hair, who wore beautiful sarees, who gave warm hugs and who could speak the most perfect Urdu... was Fatima Surraya Bajia.
When ever I saw her picture on the news media she reminded me of my maternal grandmother. I have the privilege of meeting her. She knew the art of making everyone comfortable around her.She was distantly related to my grandparents who migrated from a small town in UP India named Badayun. Bajia"s family moved to Hyderabad Deccan from Badayun and settled there. In 1948 after riots started in Hyderabad the family moved to Karachi.
She was a gifted writer but few people know that she never attended a school or college. She was home schooled by the elders in her family. After migrating to Pakistan her father and grandfather died within few years. The responsibility of raising 10 children came on the shoulders of her mother and Bajia being the eldest helped her what ever she could. They sew dolls in traditional dresses which were sold in the Gul-e-Rana Centre started by Begum Rana Liaquat Ali Khan. Later on the Bajia and her younger sister Sughra who were experts at stitching "ghararas" started perhaps the first bridal boutique in the city of Karachi.The two sisters along with their mother stitched ghararas for clients.
Mrs Sughra Kazmi and her daughter in law Bunto Kazmi( who was another sister Sarah Naqvi"s daughter) are still to this day are regarded as the most esteemed bridal designers in Pakistan.
Bajia started writing TV dramas for Pakistan television in the 60s. Her dramas focused on the Muslim culture and heritage of the sub-continent. Shama,Afshan,Ana,Aroosa are few of her popular dramas. She was also on the advisory board of PECHS College Karachi and Karachi Arts Council. Many of her dramas were translated in Japanese and she was also awarded the highest civil award of Japan.
She never had any children of her own and considered her younger siblings as her children. Her brother Anwer Maqsood is a popular tv personality and artist. Another brother Ahmed Maqsood was a famous Bureaucrat. Sughra Kazmi is a designer, Zehra Nighah is a famous poet who also worked in BBC. The youngest sister Zubaida Tariq is regarded as the Culinary Queen of Pakistan who teaches cooking on various networks.
Fatima Suraya Bajia was more than a motherly figure for the citizens of Pakistan. She was an institution, a human rights activist who tried to help everyone around her. Fatima Surayya Bajia’s timeless work and contribution for urdu literature and for Pakistan television will remind us how a tiny frail lady without any formal degree was able to teach us so much...
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