Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Stay at Home Moms ......a luxury....No being lucky

Stay At Home Moms ...a Luxury ...No Being Lucky 
“Well, you are lucky you have the luxury to stay at home.”I have heard this phrase many times. Even though I am proud to be called "a stay at home mom",I don't like this particular phrase! 
“Luxury” is not the right word. It should rather be "lucky".

Staying home to take care of a child and the family is not just a luxury, it's a lot of hard work …a lot of quick decisions, too many errands and tons of sacrifices. 

It's not just a job which can be done easily. " Stay at home moms" can be divided into two groups one who are happy and content in what they are doing and second those who are not happy in their chosen role for them selves maybe because they always wanted a career outside the house or maybe because they are criticized by their spouse or others for not having a proper job. 

It is quite a universal argument but to raise good kids, keep a healthy family environment and manage the house is a job ...a very tough job! 

Many years back when I was pregnant with my oldest child my Russian neighbor told me about her mom who suffered from depression: "My mom suffered from depression and no one understood her, she fought with my father every day. She rarely cooked or cleaned the house or checked our school work, my father passed away after a major heart attack one day, one of my brother is a drug addict, other brother also suffers from depression. I am the only one among my siblings who has a normal family life, a husband and a son. I will do everything in my power to provide a happy and healthy home for my son,” she said. 

She was genuinely happy being a stay at home mom… She was doing it by her own choice and relishing it…Her words greatly touched me. Sometimes  we take things for granted. The house which we return to from school is clean, there is always hot home-cooked meal on the kitchen table and most of all our mothers’s present there to ask us about how was our day at school. How often we thank the "Silent Warriors " and "Resilient Care-givers" who are our own moms?  
Fast forward many years today I myself am a "stay-home mom,” and I am so proud of this title. It was my decision along with my husband and thank God I have never regretted it. I have many friends and family members who are full time "working-mothers". I realize they are busier than me and they have a career, a pay-check at the end of the month as well as they also are raising a family. I admire them and happy for them but I am by no means jealous of them or don't like them. I don't even want to argue who works harder: a working mother or a stay-at-home mother. I stand firm on my belief that it is hard for everyone
Motherhood is a tough job without any guidelines. A child’s emotional  status, as well as their social and cognitive development, greatly depend on their family dynamics.
It's true maternal psychological and emotional problems leave the children confused and scared with significant mental issues.
Motherhood is the toughest job in the world and to be a strong, good Mother is the hardest...
What my point is, "Be happy in what you are doing and be the best in what you do, your children are your reflection…"