Monday, June 29, 2015

The Gori Bahu

The "Gori  Bahu "

My wedding was a low key affair, very few guests were invited. Just one dress was ordered for the wedding along with a small gold set. My in- laws"s facial expressions could tell that they were not happy that their son is marrying a "gori". They tried really hard that their son should marry a "nice Desi girl" and not a "farangi".
I had to deal with a lot of sarcastic remarks and criticism from my husband"s family and was always degraded when being compared with my older sister in law who was 100% Pakistani and daughter of a family friend.

"Zaat, Khandan bhi to kuch hota hey".....

" these Gora girls don't know how to take care of the house and family. Thank God we have another son".....

Their older Bahu who belong to the
same background and culture like them and whose wedding was an elaborate affair. My parents in law never missed an oppourtunity to give her examples.

I tried my best to adjust in my new family by wearing shalwar kameez, learning to cook qorma and chicken Karahi. Bought the English to urdu dictionary to master the language very quickly. Read about my new religion and started adding "Alhamdullilah" and "Mashallah" in my sentences.
When my children were in elementary school I enrolled them in the Sunday School of our Mosque. Spoke urdu to them and mingled with my husband "s Desi friends a lot.

As time passed my father in law started appreciating my cooking abilities " Bhai tum kheer  bhut achey banati hu, lagta nahin key Gori ney banaya hey". My mother in law appreciated me behind my back maybe she was worried I will get over confident. Still she would spare no oppourtunity to acknowledge her older "Desi Bahu".

When my mother in law suffered a stroke my father in law sold his house and planned to stay 6 months with each son and his family so they can help him take care of his wife. They stayed with us for six months, I tried my best to take care of my mother in law, helped her with taking baths, took her outside for walks, watched urdu dramas with my in laws.

The day when they were leaving for my brother in law"s house Amah jee"(mother in law ) was very excited to see her " Desi Bahu". Her face was beaming with happiness. She hugged me and said " you make good biryani". I guess that was her way of saying " thank you".
My father in law was very appreciative he said to my husband that he is proud of me.
It made both my husband and myself very happy ......

Abu jee ( my father in law) called my husband after 2 months ;"can we come earlier than the scheduled 6 months?", " sure, why not but is everything ok", replied my husband.
" yeah your mom is missing your kids, your brother"s kids are busy with studies and they are busy too so we thought to come to your place earlier ", " we will go back in few week", he added.

They flew back the next week. Our kids were super excited to see them. Amah jee looked very weak and pale. I started taking care of them again, we also hired a nurse for her as her health was deteriorating pretty rapidly. One day while I was sitting with her and Abu jee she said " Beta you are a noble soul it was my mistake who could not see the nice loving and caring person inside you, you are not from my community or my country but you have transformed yourself into a perfect beti " ......
" we are proud of you!"

I could not contain my tears and my excitement after listening to those words.

Amah jee died the next week. After her death Abu jee informed my husband that she got heart broken at the attitude of her older son and his wife who were busy partying and socializing and completely ignored her. They had totally "westernized" themselves.
He gave me a big box full of Amee jee"s beautiful Jewelery, saris and her prayer mat. "This belongs to Tina
our lovely daughter who is the best eastern Bahu one could wish for!"he said.

Abujee passed away after few months. It has been 10 years.....

I still enjoy cooking Biryani and Kheer. My urdu has improved a lot.
My Desi closet is ever growing.
My kids follow their traditions and religion very well. Sometimes people don't believe that they are raised by a "Gori mother".

It all depends on the individual, after all ........

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Bobby Jindal: A Brown Guy distancing himself from his heritage

Bobby Jindal : a brown guy trying to distance himself from his heritage

It was an historic day today when the announcement about 44-year-old Piyush  Bobby Jindal was officially made who joined 12 other Republican contenders who are seeking their party"s nomination for the Presidency of the United States . He is the first " Brown Candidate" who is seeking nomination of his party for the Presidency.  Browns is a common reference to the South Asian Americans.

Yet it is so ironic that Mr Jindal has failed to generate much enthusiasm among the Indian-Americans.......who are among the richest and fastest growing ethnic communities in the US .......because of Jindal's recent statements in which he sought to distance himself from being an Indian-American.

There’s not much Indian left in Bobby Jindal,” said Pearson Cross, a political science professor at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette who is writing a book on the governor.

When a candidate jumps in the election pool he or she usually has a backing of a certain group, from which he generally belongs to and which helps him get votes in the primaries and on Election Day. By distancing himself from American Indians Mr Jindal has lost that big indian vote bank. He could have attracted the South Asian Muslim Voters too but few of his high profile anti Muslim comments has made the Muslim Community quite angry at him. He is the current governor of Louisiana but his approval ratings have plunged to 30% due to some bad choices.

In an op-ed published by Politico, Jindal loathed at minorities to mark the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech. Instead of standing up against the many acts of racism that have been perpetrated by his own party and by conservatives around the nation, Jindal declared that minorities are responsible for the racism in this country.

Apparently it appears Jindal is actually blaming minorities for causing white people to be racist towards them...... quite insane coming from the mouth of a non- white guy

Monday, June 22, 2015

My first short novel A very Resilient Amreeki Dream

My first short novel

My first novel "A very Resilient Amreeki Dream" is about a woman who is brave and courageous and who loves her family.

Look around and honor the survivors, the dedicated care takers , the quite confidants.......

I am also an immigrant. Many immigrants travel every year to United States of America. It is a multi-cultural society where blacks and whites, Asians and Hispanics live together next door to each other. They all help each other during a moment of crisis and laugh with each other during a moment of joy!

I very firmly believe in the power of love which can conquer many battles.

I hope you all will enjoy reading this story as much I have enjoyed writing it.

I call myself a "self taught author" whose inspiration is her community and the social happenings in the world. I have been writing articles/ blogs for almost 8 years years now.

I have dedicated this novel to the victims of verbal and physical abuse and to all the many immigrants around me.

And to my beautiful Pakistan and to my  home the state of Michigan, USA.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

And for th fathers who are watching over us


Father love means many things to many people. For some, it is the support and encouragement they receive from him. For others it could be hours that dad spent helping with math homework. For some it is just an assurance that they are being taken care. For some it is to do good and make their dads proud of them and for some it is that infinite bond of love spread across from one world to the other .......

While we celebrate Fathers on this day in June there are many dads who are looking over us every minute, praying for us every second, our accomplishments make them smile with pride.....
We talk to them in our dreams, feel their presence when we are happy or sad and could feel them around us when we are sick .......
The bond with our loved ones never breaks, even after many decades .......
We see their smiles on our daughter"s face or in the shining eyes of our son or in many of our own personality traits........
We talk to them and ask their advice, get their assurance, look in their eyes through old photographs......
We work hard to make them proud, make them happy, cherish the tiniest memories we have of them.......

And they are taking care of us , their children up above from the gates of Heaven asking God to make us His favorite ......... and for that we thank them
those fathers......

Friday, June 19, 2015

Blacks in America: acknowledged or degraded?

We are living in the year 2015. The United States of America has a Black President, Black Attorney General, several Black Governors, Mayors and numerous Black high officials. It is a good sign to look at these accomplished officials gives the message of peace and equality. It echoes the success of civil rights movement of the 60s. While many foreigners acquire immigration in America every year , is this really " my land and your land " it?
Really ? Maybe Not !!!
The details of hate crimes in Baltimore, North Carolina, Sanford and now Charleston are quite fresh in our memories........what do all these hate crimes tell us .......Non - white citizens are still disliked.
No matter how much it is sugar coated Racism is a genuine problem which still lingers on even after many decades.
Race has a deep, dark history in USA and no one wants to talk about the inhumane treatment of the Black race. As a matter of fact everyone is supposed to believe that chapter of American history is closed, and it is time for Blacks to get over it.
While Blacks and other minorities consider the election of Barack Obama to president as a mobilizing effort ....... that now everyone is an equal citizen in the country . As a matter of fact it has given the extremist the feeling of uneasiness or maybe that the firm grip of white supremacy in America was slipping...... and they should act against it!
During the Charleston, SC shooting, Dyllan Roof allegedly told a survivor that he was killing black people because “you rape our women and are taking over our country.”
He highly disliked Treyvon Martin and wanted to start a race war.
" Taking over our country "...... Is it not their Country ?
How long will citizens of America and other countries of the world will have to fight for " equal rights" and " social justice "..........
How long the color of a person"s skin will define his or her destiny ?
Maybe forever !

Friday, June 5, 2015

Tragedies of the Genuinely Human Vice President

Who is Joe Biden ? A guy who is a heart beat away from the presidency of the United States, a guy who is the Vice President of the world"s most powerful democracy. While Washington DC is a place full of "made-up" , " perfectly personified " group of people who run not only the United States of America but also dictate many other world leaders. They all say the right thing which has been rehearsed numerous times before. They hide their weaknesses and the bank statements from the public for the sake of their more than perfect image.
Joe Biden is famous for all his " gaffs " , his long speeches when he talks more than he should. He comes across as a regular middle aged grandpa sort of guy who is genuinely real. Joe Biden a seasoned politician with a glorific senate and vice presidential career does not look " phony" or " superficial " from anywhere. While the Clinton's try to hide the list of their donations, Palin struggle to look intelligent , Kennedy's try to act like regular people ........Joe Biden looks like and sounds like an Average Joe just being himself.
He has a big 420 volt smile and enjoys talking to people but few know about the many personal trajedies he has endured. His humble roots from Scranton Pennsylvania, the guidance of his blue collar parents helped him become a lawyer and a prosecutor who became the second youngest senator in US history. Tragedy struck him the first time when his closest confidant his wife Neilia and one year old daughter Naomi died in a car crash days after he was elected. His two young sons Beau and Hunter were also critically injured in that accident. The newly elected Senater wanted to give up his seat to take care of his boys. On advice of others he took oath at their hospital bedside. He took care of his sons who made full recovery.
Later he remarried to a lady named Jill a community college professor who became his close confidant. Joe Biden almost died during his 50"s due to annurisym but he got lucky and was treated in due time.
Two days back tragedy once again hit Joe Biden his older son Beau sccumbled to brain cancer at the young age of 46. Beau Biden himself had a distinguished career as Delaware Attorney General and as a captain who has served with the National Guard in Iraq. He was diagnosed 2 years back. The Bidens kept the details of his illness private. The announcement was a complete shocker to the public who witnessed the close bond between the father and the son during the presidential campaign of Obama- Biden of 2008. Mr Biden has a terrific fatherly bond with his children.
I guess I don't have any words to say about this awfull tragedy endured by the Vice President once again. While many politicians have emerged in the political arena to run for President next year.....Mr Biden would just be trying to pick up the broken pieces of life scattered around him one day at a time.......
Joe Biden "s humanity has greatly touched the American people ; Republicans to Democrats people all over the country feel as if Beau Biden "s death is a death in the greater American Family !!!